Bummis Blog 7 worries I had BEFORE I became a grandparent

Betsy with her granddaughter, ArtemisSeptember 7th is National Grandparents' Day. This post is dedicated to all the loving Grandmas and Grandpas out there who survived the trials, tribulations, and ecstasies of parenting and are now on to their second generation of little ones.I worried that:1) Their mothers (my sons' partners) would not use cloth diapersOf course that was my #1 fear! Well, no problem there - they did use cloth, and subsequently not only did I get to change diapers, but I also got to experience washing diapers a lot (I took it over completely for one of my grandchildren). This is one of the reasons Bummis does not use microfiber in any of our products - it holds on to stink, and is too hard to wash. I guess when I was originally worried about it, that I did not take into account how important it would be for my kids to use cloth diapers. But I was not prepared for how much their partners enjoyed using them. Cloth diapers can be a fabulous gift for grandmas to bestow upon a young family - the savings can be as much as $2000 per baby!Mariah, the mother of Betsy's grandson, breastfeeds AchillesTo read Mariah's breastfeeding story, click here 2) Ditto for breastfeedingThis is something we are not allowed to decide or influence - and that can be painful for grandmothers who believe strongly in breastfeeding. I had decided in advance that my job was to live gracefully with whatever they chose to do, and to support them no matter what. I offered my experience, but was conscious about trying not to use my experience as a weapon to make them feel judged. I also offered practical help - in the form of a lactation consultant. This can be a lifesaver for new moms - and is often not something they may see as necessary. And again, I may have underestimated the passion my sons bring to the whole issue of their children being breastfed.... Anyway, both of my grandchildren are well over 2 years old and still breastfeeding, thanks to their wonderful moms.3) Ditto that they believed in spanking kids. I was spanked as a child - a lot. I tried not to spank my own children because I don't believe that it is either useful, morally correct, or good for a child or for the person who spanks. But in all honesty, I did sometimes spank; when I lost my self-control or ran out of imagination. Easy to do with 3 kids in 5 years....I always apologized to them, and tried not to despise myself too much - because that makes it worse. So of course I was afraid my kids would be spankers too. Thank my lucky stars and theirs that they are not - both sets of parents seem to have patience and SKILLS too! I have learned so much from them.Mother and child by Klimt4) My grandchildren would not love me.Although I am not their FAVORITE person in the world (funny enough - their parents are), they are usually happy to see me. Why? Because I am completely head over heels in love with them. And when someone loves you that much it's hard not to love them back or be happy to see them! And when I am with them, I usually get to just BE with them. This is as opposed to when MY kids were little and I was busy not only with them, but also trying to take a shower, cook supper, drive a car, clean house, work, etc. So my grandchildren and I read together and we sit down on the floor together to play, and I just think that everything they do is over-the-top amazing. And then I'm gone!5) I would not love them enough or instantly. It's so funny that I worried about this, but I did. In actual fact grandchildren are a pleasure beyond what we can imagine beforehand. They are someone whose destiny is (normally) not in our hands, and thus our number one job is to enjoy them. I loved my kids and enjoyed them a ton - but it was also a lot of hard WORK and worry. These children are my chance to enjoy small children without all the work and worry. Their development is wondrous to me - every stage feels like a revelation. Their drawings, what they say, etc. - it's all amazing. I try not to insult my own children by how awesome I think these babies are - I don't want my sons to think they were any less awesome than these babies, so I try not to use superlatives!Betsy with grandchildren Artemis and Achilles6) I would not get to see my grandkids often enough. I have discovered that this one is up to me! I throw lots of parties to entice them all to my house. But my secret joy is sending their parents out on a date. They think they are so lucky...but really? I am home with their darling having the time of my life.7) I would be too busy to enjoy them. I AM too busy - it's true. I am not a grandma who can stay home and garden, babysit and write letters - not yet. I work, about 3 X full-time! But seeing my grandchildren is like a mini-holiday. Because I can't do anything else - all I can do is feed them, entertain them, be entertained by them - in fact, give in and be all there. What a gift that is in a busy life....Love,Betsy ThomasBummis President